Royal Mail – PLEASE DIE

I am so so beyond furious at the Royal Mail right now. I have been having shitty service from them for years, but today just takes the prize.

So, on Saturday I had a missed delivery – it was a time-critical delivery, for someones birthday, and was needed for Tuesday. I was in the house at the time, the postman obviously just tapped on the door and ran away, too busy to wait, running late and wanted to get home, who knows, all I know is, I was there, sitting about 5 feet from the front door, and I sure as hell didn’t hear him. OK, so go to their redelivery website, earliest redelivery, Tuesday. Why they can’t manage Monday, two days from then, is beyond me, but OK. So, Tuesday comes and goes, and no delivery, not even a card this time.

Wednesday comes, and so does the package, late of course. It had written all over it ‘redelivery wednesday 3rd’, which after checking my browser history is NOT what I had requested. I hadnt made a mistake, they had just not done the delivery on the right day.

So, onto thursday, today.

AGAIN a delivery, this time not time critical, but that doesn’t really matter, is missed, again I am sitting feet from the door according to the time on the card, and again, I hear nothing.

So, I am sick of this. This has been going on for a long time, their second postmam, who covers the primaries day off, is fine, I always hear him. I have a doorbell, a doorknocker, and whichever he uses, I hear him. The primary though, ffs, he must just tap lightly and run for the hills. He also does wonderful things like, a group of 5 packages, all sent individually, he will put an elastic band around them, and instead of then later taking off the band, he then sticks a card through the door saying ‘too big for delivery’ when if he TOOK OFF THE BAND which he had put on there in the first place, they could all have been delivered through the letterbox. But no, the lazy bast* won’t even do that. Not to mention a friend who lives on the same street as I do, had what were obviously birthday cards folded in half so the postman could fit them all through the door in one go, when if he had done his job properly, they could have all gone through with no folding.

So, I am finally sick of this, I go to the post offices website and try and find a complaints form. I go round and round in circles, where it describes methods of leaving feedback but doesn’t link to them, and finally I get to a point where I can leave a message, I have to select a subject, none of which are complaints, all are things like ‘I want a job there’ or ‘I want to bulk-send’ and stuff. So, I am out of patience with the website, so next stop, phone call.

Call them up, on their number that costs to call, thanks for that. Selecting through the options there is NO WAY to get through to a complaints department. So after two cycles through their neverending or deadending menu options I just sit there not pressing anything and finally it decides I have a rotary phone and puts me in a call queue.

I get through to a woman who I start chatting to fairly chattily, as of course it wasn’t her fault, so the conversation goes something like this:

‘Hi, I was just wondering where your postmen train for their ninja skills?’

‘Ninja skills??’

Well, yes, I assume they are trained in this way, as it is the only way they could knock on my door when I am only feet away from it, and my not hear it.

Oh, so you had a missed delivery?

Second time in a week, yes, and I was there both times.

Can I have your postcode

Sure, its <insert postcode here>

And what number on your street

Well, Im not too sure Im happy to reveal that, as I dont want it passed on to the postman that I raised a complaint and then I never see any of my mail for the next 6 months, cant you just work with the postcode

We dont accept anonymous complaints, at least have the courage to stand by your convictions

EXCUSE ME? Put me through to your manager right now, you do not talk to me like that.

Give me your details or I am unable to put you through.

<firmly>No, put me through to your manager

I don’t have to sit here and take this, if you wont give me your details I cant help you

Excuse me, I was perfectly pleasant when I came through and your attitude has been appalling to a customer, put me through to your manager now

Not until you give me your details

Right, what is your name, I will call back and have someone else put me through

I am not giving you my name. <hangs up>

Rude representatives, ninja postmen, shitty service



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